How many times have you tried setting a goal and inspite of your best efforts, not gotten there? I think we all have. And the frustration and self-deprication that follow can make being at the bottom of an avalanche seem like a good day. When you have this experience often enough, you eventually stop setting goals and become more complacent about playing average. A truth that is too much to admit.
Let’s start by defining a goal. It is a finite, fixed measure of success you find meaningful that will be true at some point in the future (tomorrow, next month, next year, etc). A goal is not a dream or a wish, it is a vehicle to the dream. When you stack many goals together, they are the row of dominos that have your dream come true at the end.
There are two types of goals – avoidance and approach. Unfortunately, most people set avoidance goals, and then can’t figure out why they fail to achieve them. Avoidance goals are focused on moving away from something or stopping a result you don’t want. The problem is the key functioning of your behavioral brain which needs to first process doing an action, before it can then decided not to do it. So you are actually focussed on getting more of what you don’t want! Example: “I want to stop being late for work and having my boss hate me.”
Avoidance Goals –
* negatively framed in opposing language
* often fear based, derogitory and demotivating
* perhaps more important to others than they are for you
Approach goals are about moving toward something you do want, and are far more effective. This method can be scary because you need to clarify, articulate, and own, what you want. No more pretending you are settling for average, and let some light into that box of dreams you may have packed away in the attic of your heart. Example: “I will set my alarm fifteen minutes earlier each morning to be on time and get a raise by the end of the year.”
Approach Goals –
* positively framed in affirmative language
* evokes excitement and motivation
* has a sense of meaningful ownership around it
There is one last caviet you must understand before setting off to wild success. Three little traps quietly waiting to highjack you right out of the gate. Knowing them is the difference between ‘oh, soooo close’ and and a full happy dance, fist pump, ‘YES! I DID IT!’
* Is your goal too big, grandiose or unrealistic? You might need to break it down into smaller parts.
* Is your goal poorly defined? Success goals are crystal clear and finite, with nothing left for interpretation.
* Is you goal too far away? Break your time frame down to something that is closer and motivates immediate action.
You can accomplish your goals, no matter how big or small, by knowing how to set goals that work. By following this simple outline you will be well on your way to living your awesome (and you are worth it)!
Want some support from me and a group of committed people on the same journey? Then THIS is for you -http://alypain.com/pages/You%20Exponentially%20Results%20Group/48. Check it out and join me on the results ride of your life!
Aly Pain is passionate about enlightening, empowering and engaging people to power businesses. She brings her bold, authentic and skilled coaching to develop and deliver customized training, keynotes and workshops that move your company forward, faster.
Born and raised in Kelowna, BC, Aly began her speaking career at the age of 7. She won the honour of being the emcee at her Elementary School Christmas Pageant because she could clearly project her voice in a gymnasium of 300 people without a microphone. That was just the beginning…
“I remember vividly the ‘try-outs’ where I was up against children older than I was, as we stood at one end of a long hallway and read lines from a play while two teachers at the other end of the hall listened to see who they thought did the best job.”
?Her speaking audiences are Professional Organizations, Managers and Business Leaders wanting to grow their awareness of how teams work while getting more out of them, and leave with clear, simple tools to immediately implement in their organizations. Throughout North America, Aly has worked collaboratively with event organizers to be relevant and on-time as an enthusiastic Emcee and keynote speaker to groups up to 500 people.
She brings her ‘straight up success’ stories from high-powered boardrooms and Executive sessions to her audiences they avoid the most common mistakes today. Aly’s trademark style delivers key learning coupled with laughter to create lasting experiences.
In school, Aly was an advanced student and often helped other children with their work. She loved helping with a knack for making complex material more relatable and fun. That included leading student councils and being the Emcee during assemblies, while organizing and pulling off the kind of events that make school more bearable (like jello eating contests)!?
When she wasn’t leading an organization or on the mic, she was playing and exceling at one of many sports leading to numerous awards and an entire wall full of trophies, medals and ribbons. Although not an athletic pursuit, a highlight was carrying the torch through Kelowna for the 1988 Olympic Winter Games Relay.
Combining skill and compassion in her role with Dynamed as a Biomedical Electronics Technologist at just 22yrs old, Aly took a strong leadership role by creating and delivering a ground breaking training program with the BC Government for home patients, helping them reduce their fears, and better understand the medical equipment they now had in their homes. That success led to developing and delivering training for Community Clinic staff in BC on new/upgraded medical equipment.
Aly spent a decade in personal development programs as a participant, assistant and facilitator candidate, learning the nuances of positive psychology and powerful content in masterful partnership. Along with 15 years of training and facilitating groups on hard and soft skills, Aly then delved into one-on-one work through coaching with CTI (Coaches training Institute). She went on to become certified (one of the first 70 people globally) in Organizational Team and Relationship Coaching.
“I fiercely believe that people, individually and collectively, are far more than they imagine for themselves, and I don’t any tolerate less”
Aly and her husband met in their early youth at a family reunion; now that’s a story! After 18 years of marriage two of the best children ever, they currently reside in Vernon, BC. Aly services clients and contracts through out BC and Alberta, along with travel to the US, facilitating corporate retreats and public speaking. When her family is not running to children’s activities like snowboarding and lacrosse, they enjoy skiing and soaking up the summer sun at the beach.
Aly brings her experience being wife of a 3-Time Olympian and silver medalist, Jeff Pain, being on the inside of a high-performance team, to the boardroom. The corporate teams and families she works with communicate better, make faster and more aligned decisions while using constructive conflict to truly get to the best outcomes. Aly truly understands what it takes to get on the podium!
20+ years experience as a Facilitator/Trainer
10 years experience in the Personal Development field
Approved Speaker for TEC Canada
Graduate of and Certified by CTI (Coaches Training Institute) in the Co-Active Coaching Program (CPCC)
Graduate of and Certified by Center for Right Relationship’s ORSC (Organization & Relationship Systems Coaching) Program as one of the first 70 people to hold this designation.
Professional Certified Coach (PCC) designation from the ICF (International Coach Federation)
Master Certified Coach (MCC) Candidate with the ICF – the highest and most rigorous standard held by less than 450 coaches globally
Co-Founder of GenN Family Office – guiding and assisting families with the transfer of intergenerational wealth with a multi-disciplinary team and unique equity model
“There is nothing more powerful and inspiring than witnessing people transforming their personal and professional lives.”